There are some people you accept that you will be alive when they pass on. Grandparents, elderly,...but I always knew he was not hat list... And I know he will always be my guardian angel when he's gone. But I refuse to accept that until I can't fight for him any longer. He made me promises that I refuse to let him break. He protects me in the shadows and when he's gone their is nothing to separate me from the darkness he knew well. He walks every day in pain of his past. Part of me admits the selfishness of making him stay on this earth longer. I tell myself I want hi to find light, and I do. But part of me knows he is right...his light will be found when he is in resting peace. We've once shared a dream in days past of his funeral.he saw me standing their and he left a red rose with me and walked into the light with a white suit. A song red rose pinned to his chest. And when he sees me smile back through the tears he looks down and smiles, turns and walks into the light. Knowing somehow, we can both be at peace. That we will both be ok.
But for now, I will continue to be selfish. Because I refuse loosing him. Not yet.
AH
